im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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