this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
