I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
