Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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