please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
