I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
