honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just pee around me
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
