every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
