yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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