i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
