Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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