you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
