I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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