Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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