my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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