Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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