He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Randomize
