My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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