Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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