I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
