I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
