There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
