Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize