Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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