What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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