Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
