So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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