I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
