i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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