I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
