I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
