Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
