What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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