$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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