my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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