no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
