you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
