Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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