Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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