you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
