I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I've blown a few things in my day
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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