oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
