dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
