omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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