the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize