Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
