lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
