He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
