Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
