In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
