trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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