She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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