We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i love accidental penises.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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