I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
