I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize