Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
