I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
