The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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